Imagine the most Christmassy thing you’ve ever done, then triple it – such is a trip to the Christmas tree farm to cut down your own freakin’ Christmas tree. Reader, I almost wet myself with the giddiness.
Arriving at what looked like a normal farm outside Goshen, Ohio, I discovered that it was actually a Christmas tree plantation! You rock up, they give you a plastic sledge, a polythene sheet and a saw, and they send you off for a wander to find a tree you like the look of. (NB not much happens in Goshen, there’s no reason to go there apart from to buy a Christmas tree).
All the trees that can be cut down have tickets with their prices on (about $50 for a 7ft tree which is pretty reasonable compared to UK prices, natch). They are topiarised a bit, I think, to give them a good shape.
It’s a vast place, with trees and trees and trees of all sizes as far as the eye can see. We were tipped off to some “real pretty trees” round the other side of this extremely picturesque lake.
We found one we liked the look of after a good search and set Jim to work cutting it down (which was surprisingly easy). I am not sure my video upload has worked, but I did get to shout “TIMBERRRRRRRRR” for the first legitimate time of my life which really added to my enthusiasm for the whole caper.
Then this little guy came for a cuddle and to escort us back to the barn to wrap and pay for our tree.
Actually, we went inside and drank the free hot chocolate whilst they wrapped the tree for us, of course. We’re civilised. I also bought a genuine handmade quilted proper Folk Art Christmas tree skirt for pennies whilst we were waiting, because although I am civilised, I never miss an opportunity to shop.
Then, the agonising choice of which wreath to get. We couldn’t decide, so we bought three. They were enormous, and fresh, and smelled divine and were like $20. Amazing.
It was just all so QUAINT and I almost died of Christmas twee right there and then.
Once we’d finished up in the barn, we went back outside and lo and behold, some strapping all-American chaps had tied the tree to the top of tiny Anne’s massive truck. We all clambered in and went to Frisch’s for lunch. SUCH FUN.
Did you win the Nice Cup Of Tea giveaway? If you are Jenny from The Gingerbread House, then yes, yes, you did. Email me your address to [mrspiquante at gmail dot com]!
Top marks if you knew that the title of this post refers to this:
Anti Bullshit League 