Posted in Doing, Travel

When they say it’s going to be a good summer, are they taking the piss?

Yeah, so I forgot to say, I went on holiday for 2 weeks. But I’m back now! Here’s where I’ve been:

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Pretty much just there for 2 weeks solid! It was GREAT. Such a brilliant rest, and I sewed NOTHING the whole time I was there.

OK, I did sew one thing but it was just a single letter of something before I got bored with it, so it’s good as nothing. I did read all my books and had to go and raid the hotel library several times.

We’re back to glorious sunshine in Glasgow, which is nice but strange. We both feel like we’ve been away for months, so we are adjusting to being back, wandering around the flat and marvelling at things like carpet, our own pillows and the fact that we can have the windows open without being bitten by winged beasts.

Ah, winged beasts! The bloody mosquitos – nobody warned us about those. I got more bites on one leg in 2 weeks in Greece than I did in 5 months in Bangkok. We are both liberally covered in the bastarding things – ankles, knees, legs, arms, hands, neck, back, ass cheek (!) and I have 2 particularly gruesome ones on my right foot. I have some sort of reaction to mosquito bites which cause them to swell up into bubbles and … oh, you don’t want to know.  It’s HIDeous. I hope I won’t be scarred for life.

I am finding I am missing already the cast of thousands from our holiday. There were Jim and Senga, our neighbours in the next apartment. She’s a hair dresser and Sky customer services person and he wears tight Y fronts, the kind you would not expect a man of his considerable bulk to wear.

Then there were the Janices 1 & 2, both typical Glasgow women who expounded the virtues of their “pure beautiful” baked potatoes to me at great length in the pool on more than one occasion.

Our other neighbours were a couple from Northern England somewhere, probably Halifax, who had a little girl about 3 or 4, named Grace. She ate spaghetti hoops for tea every day and did a wee on the floor. We know this as her parents bellowed at her regularly. Grace, you’re not a baby, stop acting like one!

Oh, and Super Dad – how could I have forgotten him?A geordie and his Falkrik wife – who gave them licence to breed? The government should be informed. He was the biggest dolt I’ve met in  a long time – it turned out they were on their honeymoon – 2 weeks with their little girl, about 3 or 4 again. She was very demanding, cried a lot. Wife was quiet, sun tanned a lot. He was LOUD and tried to parent every child in the vicinity and flirted a lot with…

Welsh woman and her child. She got her tits out a lot and didn’t do much to stop her little girl from shoplifting ice cream and taking her pants off and running towards the sea. She was quite funny for a little kid.

Oh, how we laughed! For people watching is one of our favourite things to do on holiday. Along with eating and playing cards on the balcony in our pants. We did a lot of all those things. The eating thing was hit or miss, though we did find one fantastic restaurant nearby which never failed to hit the spot.

It’s called Casa Di Flavia and is just outside the resort area, fact finders, of Lardos on Rhodes. Go there and have the pork in tarragon sauce or the stifado – YUMMMMMM.

Now I’m hungry and I have to go and put the washing machine on again. I’ve put lots of photos up on Flickr, go see!

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Author:

I’m Claire and I live near Glasgow, in Scotland. I have strong family ties to Cincinnati, too and regard it as my second home. If I had to describe myself in five words, it would be thus: Does. Not. Suffer. Fools. Gladly. I’ve been cross stitching pretty much all my life, but professionally since 2005, first as Miso Funky, then as The Bellwether and now under my own name. I'm known for my witty, sarcastic and occasionally profane typographic designs. My work has been featured in The Sunday Times, The Guardian, Channel 4 and on BBC television as well as numerous media outlets across the globe. At one point, I was kind of a big deal but I mostly just dabble in it these days when I have time. My website is a repositry of cross stitch charts, travel and food blogging and you'll find it at www.antibullshitleague.com. I also love to travel and eat, ideally travelling somewhere great to eat something brilliant. I'm fascinated by social history, particularly the Victorians and will absolutely beat you hands down in a quiz about the Tudors. Dogs are LIFE. I like being in water and have lots of ideas that will never see the light of day but would definitely be a winner on Dragon’s Den/Shark Tank. I love to give people gifts. I! also! overuse! exclamation! marks! sorry!

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