Posted in Uncategorized

Why would you wear a hat just to talk to God?

Consider the pants.

I have had 2 alarming encounters with big knickers today. Thankfully (?), neither were pertaining to my own underwear (which is safely tucked away and, of course, black).

I was tapping away conscientiously at my keyboard this very morn when I happened to glance up and spotted 2 severe fashion faux pas trundling past, side by side. Both of said blunders involved pants.

The first one to catch my beady eye was a girl who was clearly in for an interview for something or other. She had clearly gone to some considerable effort with her appearance – make up, hair, nice jacket, etc. However,
she had squeezed her Mozambique-sized ass into a pair of very tight trousers and to cap it all, decided upon the biggest pair of knickers in the Western world as her undergarments. You could launch a sailing boat with these babies. I don’t know how the interview went, but I hope that she backed out of the room at the end as they would certainly have put me off.

The second blunder belonged to someone I really didn’t think would be capable of such escapades. Clearly a fan of the black skirt, and generally well turned out, this was unexpected. However, the skirt today was sadly a little more sheer than any of us thought and the decision to wear big white pants beneath said skirt was not a good one.

All this pant action lead me to ponder on my own pant situation. I have a plethora of said undercrackers that I really need to weed out (rather than wee on, arf arf). Buying underwear is one of those vices that I have like someone people like buying shoes or buying handbags. Oh, wait, that’s me too. Although I have not been too bad of late (take note Lee).

In crafting news – well, there is not too much of that to report. I finished the dangly monkey when I got back and once he’s sewn up and stuffed, I will post a picture. His limbs are all orange as is his tail and his ears, and it does go very well with the green, thank you all who assured me it would turn out ok. I must start a pair of bunny slippers this evening after my trip to Ichiban with Jo and Mar-c though, as they are proving to be our best seller just now. Why don’t people want to buy the things that are quick to make?!



I’m Claire and I live near Glasgow, in Scotland. I have strong family ties to Cincinnati, too and regard it as my second home. If I had to describe myself in five words, it would be thus: Does. Not. Suffer. Fools. Gladly. I’ve been cross stitching pretty much all my life, but professionally since 2005, first as Miso Funky, then as The Bellwether and now under my own name. I'm known for my witty, sarcastic and occasionally profane typographic designs. My work has been featured in The Sunday Times, The Guardian, Channel 4 and on BBC television as well as numerous media outlets across the globe. At one point, I was kind of a big deal but I mostly just dabble in it these days when I have time. My website is a repositry of cross stitch charts, travel and food blogging and you'll find it at I also love to travel and eat, ideally travelling somewhere great to eat something brilliant. I'm fascinated by social history, particularly the Victorians and will absolutely beat you hands down in a quiz about the Tudors. Dogs are LIFE. I like being in water and have lots of ideas that will never see the light of day but would definitely be a winner on Dragon’s Den/Shark Tank. I love to give people gifts. I! also! overuse! exclamation! marks! sorry!

2 thoughts on “Why would you wear a hat just to talk to God?

  1. Haha – enjoyed reading the pant viewing action! Funnily enough, my mum and I were discussing g-strings the other day, she said ‘apparently they are causing people lots of problems….’ I assume this means in a medical way but I didn’t like to ask….


  2. undercrackers.. that really is my favorite of all words and it is highly underused in daily life. g-strings, or thongs if you will are my most hated version of ‘undercracker’ – pointless and irritating and i’m sure, dangerous in medical terms 🙂 but that doesn’t mean it’s acceptable to wear hideously large panty-girdle-esk pants. a real overcompensation…


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s